Friday, August 04, 2006

The Scumbag

Some guys are just scum, you know that?
I work for a small company that has about a dozen employees, and most of us have been together for about a decade. Our office manager is a twenty something little girl who started with the company when she was 18 and most of us love like a little sister. I knew her when she got married, when she told us that she was pregnant with her first child, when they bought their first house, when her son was born, and now when she told me that her scumbag husband has gotten himself a girlfriend.
I was sitting across her desk from her, while she was crying crocodile tears and telling me all her woes, and I’m thinking to myself, “what kind of bottom dweller would cheat on this beautiful little girl?”
My heart just aches for her. I know that her soon-to-be ex-husband’s a total dipstick, but I had no idea of the greatness there of.

Yesterday, one of our engineers bought a rat, named it after the dipstick-ish soon-to-be ex, and then fed it to his python. It was a good piece of vengeance for her.

All I've got to say to the dipstick is, May God have mercy on your scummy soul. This is Utah pal, we (and our judges) don't take kindly to guys that skip out on their cute little wives and their baby boys. She's gonna take you for everything you got, and a few things you don't got. Then, we're gonna throw her one hell of a shindig!


NeverEnough said...

It's good to see a guy that sides with the girl who's been cheated on. That's rare!

Murph said...

Rare? I hope not. The way I see it is that if I make a vow to have and hold with my wife, (which I have) then, she's the one and there are no others. I would expect the same from any other man toward his wife. It's just the right thing to do.
But then... I'm a Boy Scout.

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