Friday, October 27, 2006

Shame on Universal

Shame on Universal!

I haven’t gotten the whole story, so I’m kinda shootin’ from the hip here, so I may have to post a clarification later, and if that’s the case… so be it. But here’s what I know right now.
For some time, FOX has been going after Browncoats for the products (Tee-shirts and the like) that we have been producing about the television show that THEY cancelled. But as all Browncoats know, FOX sucks, so it never came as much of a surprise. But now... Universal is doing the same. From what I’ve been able to gather, Universal and FOX have been contacting CafePress companies that sell Firefly and Serenity related merchandise and shutting them down! Ya know, they were all for the Browncoat produced merchandise when we were advertising their movie, when we were pitching it to our friends, and producing flyers to hand out at bus stops and on the commuter trains, as I did. We were their Big Damn Heroes then, cause they did exactly jack to promote this flick themselves.
I’m not one of those anti-corporate types that jump all over big companies that have the audacity to earn a profit. But when a big corporation like Universal sends a $9000.00 bill to 11th Hour (a very talented browncoat) for the products she’s produced, including some of the most beautiful Serenity ads that I’ve ever seen... that’s going a bit too far! Shame on Universal!

Let’s see...

Since Universal is all hip on sending invoices to the Browncoats… I think that it’s time that the Browncoats do the same.


Invoice # 000001
To: Universal Pictures
Due Upon Receipt
RE: Browncoat Advertising Services

1000 sheets 20lb copy paper……………………….$12.50
Copy toner and machine time & energy……………$25.00


Flyer production…8 hours @ $50.00/hr…………..$400.00
Flyer distribution…100 hours @ $50.00/hr……….$5000.00

Reimbursable expenses:

Fuel…100 miles @ $0.21/mile……………………$21.00
Train Fare…100 fares @ $1.50/fare………………$150.00
Total Due…………………………………………..$5608.50
Please pay upon receipt.
This is your final notice. Any delay in payment on your part will resilt in this invoice being referred to collections.

Thank you and have a shiny day.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

What is a Browncoat?

A question came up in the comments to my last post… What is a Browncoat? That’s not an easy question to answer. I could answer, that a Browncoat is just like a Trekker, but instead of being all hung up on Star Trek, the Browncoat is all hung up on Firefly. But, that answer doesn’t satisfy… because a Browncoat is much more than just a sci-fi fan.
A Browncoat is a dreamer. Specifically, a Browncoat is a dreamer of the impossible. You see, back in 2002, when Firefly was first aired (on the network that shall remain unnamed and accursed for time and all eternity) we knew that we had something special. We saw something that the network did not. Orson Scott Card said that in a lot of ways, Firefly was the first really good sci-fi television show (see
Originally there were 13 episodes filmed, 11 of those were aired, (out of order… I might add) in the Friday night “dead zone” of network television, before the show was killed. This was at the end of 2002. Joss Whedon (the creator), and the Browncoats (the fans) went to work and in September of 2005, the impossible happened… Serenity, the motion picture was released. We have taken to calling it the BDM (Big Damn Movie) in reference to a line in Safe, an episode of Firefly. It was the impossible because movie companies don’t make movies out of cancelled television shows that don’t really have any big name stars.
The movie did ok. It wasn’t the blockbuster that we were hoping for, but Universal broke even. So not bad, not good either, because it looks like there won’t be a second movie… ever.
So much for the background… back to the original question. What is a Browncoat?
A Browncoat is a fan, like any other fan. We go to Cons. We dress up for those geek-land events… but we go a step further. We live the fandom in our daily lives. I own a brown coat. It’s long and beat up and beautiful. I wear it whenever I can.
We use words and phrases from the show. Good things are “shiny,” and one of our favorite curses is “gorram,” as in: Reavers ate my gorram ship. A few of us can even swear in chinese.
It’s not uncommon to see us walking around in our favorite BlueSun tee shirt, or our home knitted “Jayne-hat.”
I guess that to be a Browncoat, you have to accept a certain amount of obsession in your life. When you’re a Browncoat, your cell phone rings with the Firefly theme or the Fruity-Oaty Bar jingle.
I guess that’s what a Browncoat is to me. By the way… the name “Browncoat” comes from the first (really the second… long story) episode of Firefly called The Train Job.
Check it out, it's on DVD.

See ya ‘round the ‘verse!
Keep Flyin”

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Spiritual Cliques?

What is a clique? defines it as “a small, exclusive group of people; coterie; set.”
When we moved, we from an area where everyone was nice, inclusive, and treated new people very nicely. It was a settled neighborhood with very few people moving in and out. The ward (to Mormons, a Ward is much like a Parrish or a congregation) was very helpful to those who were new to the area.
Our new Ward… not so much. They’re young, almost everyone is in their twenties. They’re movers, shakers, professionals, always one-step ahead of the Joneses, i.e. probably up to their collective necks in debt. They are the newest version of the yuppie (for those of us who remember the 80's). And therefore Clique-ish.
I hate cliques; I hate them with a passion. But then I’m a geek… ‘nuf said. They seem to be made up of the beautiful people… those superior types that we really love to hate.
(Ever see the movie “Heathers”? Yeh, now that’s the way to break up a clique.)
And hate them I do. And so… since our new Ward seems to be made up of cliques, I hate the Ward.
Here’s my problem… I’ve never been one of those strong spiritual people. I’ve never been one of those bright, shiny, love the scriptures, endless spiritual energy type of people. You know the type, every church has them. It would be very easy for me to just stop going to church. In this new Ward, it would be VERY easy for me to just stop going. But, I have a deep desire to become more spiritual and so (according to the way I was taught) I kinda have to keep going in order to listen to the teachings, take the sacrament (Communion) every chance I can, to participate and hold a position in the Ward.
The proverbial rock and a hard place.
My only hope is that this neighborhood is just a stopping point on the way up for many of these people and that in the next couple of years, they will go away; That they will move on to even greater mountains of debt and be replaced by… well… geeks.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Halloween Hangman

Ok, so... Halloween is coming, and my little Sis just sent me this link. It's pretty fun, and a great way to blow through a lunch hour.

Halloween Hangman created by The Dimension's Edge, Inc.

Have fun... *Evil Laugh*

Friday, October 13, 2006

Halloween... She's a comin'


Halloween is coming, and being that it is Friday the 13th, I thought that I'd share one of my favorite poems, performed by my favorite group of actors.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Lawyers & Cockroaches

My mind has been spinning ever since my deposition on Tuesday and I‘ve come to a realization. When the world comes to an end. When civilization has crumbled to dust. When human kind has finally gone the way of the dinosaur, the only creatures that will be left to pick at the scabby ruins, to run among the shreds of art and literature, will be the lawyers and the cockroaches.

At this point, I have to stop and sincerely apologize to my best friend, who as it turns out, is an attorney. But… also, as it turns out, would probably agree with my assessment of his profession.

What a waste of time it was for me to sit down with those… stupid… overpaid… scumbags! A whole day wasted because they wanted to ask questions about what a draftsman does? Do I know so-and-so? When you say this… do you mean this AND that?
The only fun I had was when I tried to slip in “Firefly” Speak into my testimony. I got a couple of “I don’t rightly know”‘s in there, and I got quite a few “Not so much”es, and a single “Shiny” but I really wanted a “Gorram” and it just never worked out that I could get it in.

Here was what I thought was pretty funny though. My boss was sitting out in the waiting area with the receptionist waiting for them to finish up with me. It was a pretty busy place, with secretaries, paralegals, and lawyers walking in and out, gathering for impromptu meetings and the like. So when they finally said that I could go, I walked into the waiting area and then asked my boss in the loudest voice I could (without being ridiculously loud), “These people did have to go to college… right?” And then summed it up with “Stupid!”
My boss just smiled and we left.

Ya, I’m more sure than ever. Lawyers and cockroaches.

Monday, October 09, 2006

I Got Nothin'

I’m sitting here at my new writing desk, in my new den, in my new house, wanting desperately to write something entertaining and profound… but I am blank. All I can think is that this room is FRAKIN’ AWSOME! So, what do you do when you're treading dangerously close to putting your readers to sleep? Open the small drawer to my right *open* and pull out the next in a small stack of cards for writer’s block.

“Trust in the you of now”

Well, now, that was profound… but not helpful.

“Do we need holes?”

Ok, cards are not working.
Sorry, folks… I got nothin’. My mind is swirling, and my hands don’t know the dance across the keyboard by themselves.
Tomorrow I have to give a deposition in a civil case in which I am only a bystander. One company, with whom I have no relationship, is suing another company for whom I have done some work, and I kinda got caught in the middle. So, I’m a bit befuddled tonight. Lawyers are such cockroaches.

Good night, gentle reader. I promise that I’ll write something good tomorrow.
Oh… now I’ve done it… no pressure there!

Monday, October 02, 2006

Can Hell Freeze Over My Brain?

Today felt like a Slurpee kind of day. It’s a Monday… I’m Broke… The office was hot… and I got about 4 hours of sleep last night. Yep, a Slurpee day. The problem was, there isn’t a 7-11 within a couple of miles of the office, and so, I had to do the next best thing. There’s a little gas station down at the corner with an Icee machine, and they almost always had the two best flavors in the world. Coke and Cherry. So, at lunch time I found myself hoofin’ it down to the corner (‘cause I’m to cheep to drive) to get me 32 ounces of the ultimate mix (1/4 Cherry to 3/4 Coke).
Long story short, I fill my cup, waiting at intervals to allow the ice crystals to form so that I don’t get a Slurpee eruption and all is going well until, I pick it up to put in the straw. It must have been the dreaded delayed ice effect, because all of a sudden, “Thar she blows.” Coke/Cherry Slurpee running down the sides of the cup and it’s not stopping, the icy drink is expanding so fast, that I have no other choice than to slap my lips around the hole in the domed lid and gulp the overage as fast as it would come.
(This is sounding slightly adult in nature, but I assure you, gentle reader, I am talking about a frozen summertime drink)
By the time I am able to get to the counter and pay the cashier my head is frozen and in the beginnings of a phenomenon known to all as “Brain Freeze.” In fact it was the worst brain freeze I have ever experienced. My eyes watered, my head throbbed, the world spun, and the whole thing left me wanting to assume the fetal position and confess all my past transgressions to the gas station cashier, a fine older lady who goes by the name of Martha.
Even now, as I sit at my desk, chewing on the molten goodness of my turkey pot pie, I stare at the melting Slurpee, and shiver at the thought of just one more swig.
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