Thursday, October 12, 2006

Lawyers & Cockroaches

My mind has been spinning ever since my deposition on Tuesday and I‘ve come to a realization. When the world comes to an end. When civilization has crumbled to dust. When human kind has finally gone the way of the dinosaur, the only creatures that will be left to pick at the scabby ruins, to run among the shreds of art and literature, will be the lawyers and the cockroaches.

At this point, I have to stop and sincerely apologize to my best friend, who as it turns out, is an attorney. But… also, as it turns out, would probably agree with my assessment of his profession.

What a waste of time it was for me to sit down with those… stupid… overpaid… scumbags! A whole day wasted because they wanted to ask questions about what a draftsman does? Do I know so-and-so? When you say this… do you mean this AND that?
The only fun I had was when I tried to slip in “Firefly” Speak into my testimony. I got a couple of “I don’t rightly know”‘s in there, and I got quite a few “Not so much”es, and a single “Shiny” but I really wanted a “Gorram” and it just never worked out that I could get it in.

Here was what I thought was pretty funny though. My boss was sitting out in the waiting area with the receptionist waiting for them to finish up with me. It was a pretty busy place, with secretaries, paralegals, and lawyers walking in and out, gathering for impromptu meetings and the like. So when they finally said that I could go, I walked into the waiting area and then asked my boss in the loudest voice I could (without being ridiculously loud), “These people did have to go to college… right?” And then summed it up with “Stupid!”
My boss just smiled and we left.

Ya, I’m more sure than ever. Lawyers and cockroaches.

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