Monday, December 18, 2006

When Did the Magic Die?

When did the Christmas Magic die? My memories of Christmas morning are always like in “A Christmas Story.” You know, you wake up unbelievably early considering how late you stayed up trying to hear Santa’s sleigh bells. And when you do wake up, you look out the window to find that the world is covered with a fresh powdering of Christmas snow, covering all the gray slush that was left over from the weeks old snowfall that was there last night when you got back from one of your family Christmas parties, where you were able to whoop it up with your cousins, the ones that you only see once a year at the Christmas party, while the adults sat in the living room or around the kitchen table talking about whatever it was that adults talked about. But now, the world was white again, clean and crisp, the way Christmas is supposed to be. And then you went down stairs to look at the presents around the tree, and you were the only one up because it was so early in the morning, but the tree lights were on, and they sparkled in all of their colors. The cookies and milk you left out for Santa were gone, all gone except for the crumbs. And you wished that you could have left something for the reindeer, but your Mom said that the carrots were for the family on Christmas, and so you couldn’t feed the reindeer.
But the presents! All around the tree in boxes with foil paper and bows, which had to come from Santa because Mom didn’t buy such things, because she said that they were too expensive.
And so you stood there and drank in the magic of the morning, not daring to breath because you might break the spell and it would all disappear. But it didn’t disappear even when your little brother would come barreling down the stairs breaking the quiet, but not the magic.

Where did that go? You get older and Christmas becomes a hassle. Lights on the house! Parties! Expenses! Traffic! Christmas Freakin’ Carols on the radio since October! Can’t we just not do a tree this year? We all feel like were drowning three feet from safety in three feet of water, but we can’t find our footing and we can’t reach the edge. Where does the magic go when you’ve all grown up and found that it was your Dad that ate the cookies, and drank the milk, and that your Mom does buy the expensive foil paper and bows, when the toys come from Santa.

I found it the other night at my family party in the eyes of my kids. My kids that still believe. Santa sits down, pulls my 3-year-old onto his knee, and she looked at him like a god sent down from Olympus to grant her every wish.

Maybe the magic doesn’t die… we pass it along it to our kids.

Find your magic folks…

Merry Christmas

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Micro-chip the Children

How tired are you of Amber Alerts?
I’m gonna toss this idea out there… but before I do, I want you all to know that I am 100% serious. No Kidding…
Why do we love our vehicles and possessions more than we love our kids? Before you shut me off, think about this.
We put Lojack or OnStar in our vehicles. If they get stolen, we make a phone call; the satellites pick up the car’s location and in 15 minutes, you not only have your car back, but in many cases, the perps are behind bars. In the same way, we put alarm systems in our homes to keep unwanted people out and our stuff in.
But when it comes to our children, we teach them to run away, but we do nothing to find them once they’re gone. Well… we issue an Amber Alert. Big freakin’ whoop! I admit, sometimes it works, but a lot of times it does exactly jack.
Some years ago, the nation was caught up in the disappearance of Elisabeth Smart. She said that while she was held captive in the mountains above her house, she could hear the searchers, but could not do anything about it.
Destiny Norton was found dead in a neighbor’s house.
And now, I just heard on the radio a twelve-year-old girl has gone missing from her school.
(Update: It seems that they found her, when she showed up at school. Seems that she decided to spend the night at a friend’s house without telling her folks about it.)

Why don’t we put tracking devices on our kids? Or more to the point… IN our kids. A bracelet or necklace would be too easy to remove by the bad guys, but a perp could not easily remove an implanted chip from the hand or arm.
In each one of these cases the girl in question would have been found in minutes. The parents, after discovering that they could not find their child would simply have to sit down at their computer, go to a secure website that is password protected, or even better yet, biometric pass-code protected, and call up their child’s location. “Gee, I wonder what Liz is doing in the mountains at 3:00 in the morning? I'd better go check.”
Even better than that, an alarm could go off any time the chip (and thus the child) leaves the house between such-and-such o’clock at night. The 3 hour lead time between Elizabeth Smart’s disappearance and the call to the police would have been cut to microseconds.

This is the 21st century people!

Now you’re saying to yourself… but the possibility that the government would be watching my every move is just to much to bear. They can’t have that much knowledge about my comings and goings.
Well… true… but… Who in Hell are you! Quite frankly, you are not that important! Who the hell cares that you get up at 6:00 and walk on your treadmill for 15 minutes before showering, dressing and grabbing a breakfast burrito on your way into work? Hint… No One! Especially the government! If that's the case, I feel sorry for the agent that’s watching me, ‘cause he’s gonna die of boredom. I give him a week; he’s probably in a coma right now. Sorry dude.
Besides, they can already track your movements… it’s true… every time you use your credit/debit/check card, you leave a trail that’s as easy to follow as if you were walking in fresh snow… they just don’t care to… because… you are a nobody.
So get over yourself on that argument.

Now you’re asking yourself… but Murph… aren’t you a *Whisper* Conservative Mormon Christian? What about the number of the beast… thing?
What about it?
Don’t you think, that since the bible is full of symbols and symbolism that the number of the beast is the same thing? Why does everything in the bible have to be symbolic, but the number of the beast thing… that’s literal! It’s symbolic, folks. It simply means that your mind is not focused on Christ and you’ve chosen a different path. There is (or will be) no brand, or tattoo, or microchip that separates you from the followers of Christ in the last days. It’s symbolic.

And so, gentle reader, I propose, that we chip our children. Even better yet, we chip ourselves.
That family in Oregon would have been found days earlier had they had a tracking device on them. And you know I’m right.
There is no excuse not to do it. We're living in the 21st century and it’s about time that we start protecting our children like we protect our cars, because as precious as you think your BMW is, it’s nothing but a nazi piece of crap compared to your children.
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