Tuesday, March 06, 2007

For the Love of... Vinyl!

I have seen the future… and it is not bright.

The other night we went to parent teacher conference at my daughter’s middle school and we walk into the choir room.
Now the fact that I am walking into a choir room is amazing since my singing has been outlawed in most western countries, and has been deemed punishable by death in England and Scandinavia. But anyway…
The first thing I notice is a vinyl LP taped to the door of the room. Expecting to find Johnny Mathis or Neal Diamond on the label, I look.

Elvis Presley
Blue Hawaii

Clearly printed in nice block letters. What!?! Who tapes, glues, staples or otherwise defaces a vinyl record for pre-secondary education? And what psychopath does this to Elvis? Now I’m not a big Elvis fan so I entered the room, somewhat shaken, only to see another vinyl album taped to another door. This one I recognize instantly because of the ...dare I say it... green apple on the label.

The Beatles

This teacher is deranged. What music teacher in their right mind would do that to a vinyl copy of The Beatles, Help! Album? I was about to pull my daughter out of that class and quite possibly out of that school. Maybe out of the district. Who would hire such a musically ignorant music teacher?
All I can say… she’s young and has no idea what she has.
There were other albums on the wall, but fearing I would find The Who’s Tommy or Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon hanging on those cursed walls, I didn’t look. My heart could not have taken that.

For those of you who don’t know… don’t destroy your vinyl! Give them to someone who will love them and cherish them and treat them like the dying black pool of greatness that they are.
Someone like ...well... like me!
You see...
A Vinyl recording is an analogue.
I know *sigh* in this digital age, we frown upon analogue anything… but hear me out.
Have you ever heard of a digital sample rate? Now I’m no expert, but hear me out. A “sample” is a sound bite, a piece as it were. When you digitally record something, you are sampling it, taking a part of it. Now these samples occur millions of times every second, but still, you are only getting a part of the full sound. The higher the sample rate, the better the sound quality.
With analogue, you get the whole thing. You could say that the sample rate is infinite. On a vinyl record you have every sound produced by the musician, even the ones the human ear is incapable of hearing and so with the kickin’ speaker technology we have today, a properly cared for vinyl record can give you a deeper, richer… dare I say… more spiritually lifting sound than any CD ever dreamed of.

This teacher should never be allowed to teach music. She knows nothing. I’ll bet she’s listening to a Britney Spears CD even now.

1 comment:

Bob said...

Bohemian Rhapsody went from cool song to great music the instant I heard it on vinyl at the age of 14 (1993).


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