Saturday, March 24, 2007

Midlife Crisis


I must be starting my mid-life crisis or something, because over the last few weeks, I have really been feeing nostalgic. I’ve started wearing all black a lot more often. It’s something I used to do quite a bit in high school. I always liked the way that it made me look kinda washed out and such. This was long before the whole goth movement got going, so, it’s not that. It was just a thing… you know.
I walked into a gaming store the other day, and after perusing the different gaming books and systems, I bought a set of dice. For those of you who aren’t gamers, a “set of dice” is a set of 7 different dice (a 20 sided, a 12 sided, two 10 sided, an 8 sided, a 6 sided, and a 4 sided). And I got them for no other reason than to sit on my desk and remind me of the old days.
Believe me, I don’t want to be a teenager again. Holy cow! What kind of twisted freak came up with adolescence? A sick joke is what that was. So no… I don’t ever want to go through that again. But sometimes I wish that I could have held on to some of the things that I loved when I was younger.
I loved gaming. I used to SCUBA dive. I loved just hanging with my friends, and doing nothing, or going to 7-11 to bug Abdul at 2am. (really… that was his name, I kid you not). I used to have time to fly-fish. Shall I continue…
But did I really loose anything by growing up?
I don’t game at all anymore, except to play Settlers of Catan with my wife and kids, which I really do love to do. I never have time to take a weekend and go fishing and I haven’t gone SCUBA diving since I’ve been married.
I don’t see my high school friends more than a couple of times a year, but I’m kinda ok with that. Don’t get me wrong… I wish I could hang with them every weekend. But, my wife has kinda replaced them. They may be my best friends, but she is so much more than that to me. And I enjoy just sitting in silence with her, ever bit as much as I enjoyed just hanging out with them.
I think that I know what it is. Ever since I took over as a course director, for the National Youth Leadership Training program in our Boy Scout Council, and have been given more and more responsibility at work, and as my time has started to not be my time anymore… I think that I have been longing for those simple days when I was a kid. No responsibilities, just time… time to hang and to game and to have fun.
Boy, that would be nice to do again. D&D anyone?

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