Tuesday, November 27, 2007


I was going to send this to post a secret, but… it’s really not a secret.

I’m afraid of going back to school.

I want to, I really do, but I’m afraid.
I’m afraid that I’m too old.
I’m afraid of what my being in school, and thus not in the house, will do to my wife. She didn’t sign up to be a single parent.
I’m afraid that I don’t have the kind of money I would need to cover tuition.
I’m afraid of a rejection letter.
I’m afraid of blowing the GRE exam.
I’m afraid of the smart kids who use words like “juxtaposition” and “duality” in their every day discussion.

I’m afraid of going back to school!

I've always figured that I'd have a graduate degree of some kind. When I was a little kid, it was never a question to me that I was going to be an archaeologist. That was the plan. And while I was in California, that plan was a strong one. I was going to come home to Utah, finish an Associate of Science degree I had started and then head over to the U of U as an Anthropology major. I had even started taking some anthropology classes at the junior college I was at in preparation.
But then I met my wife, and I got a job, and life started happening… and I finished my A.S. degree and started having kids.
In short, my priorities changed. I got scared that I couldn’t feed a family with a degree in anthropology. And so, I gave up that dream for a better one.

I did eventually go back to school and got a B.A. in English Lit. My intention was to get a teaching certificate so that I could teach High School English. But… here comes life again… while I was working toward that goal, I changed jobs. I was now making more than a starting teacher. So I changed my major to straight English and graduated.

I work with highly educated people… Engineers.
Most of them have their Masters or are working toward it. And on my wall is my degree… in English. It’s a joke in the office… one of the new engineers thought that it was a joke that I had it up on my wall. “Oh,” he said, “that’s for real?”
I’m tired of it being a joke; I just have a deep desire to use it, in some way.
So I want to get a Masters Degree… but I’m afraid.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Merry Freakin' Thanksgiving

Can I just ask? That’s today’s date?

November 6? Are you sure? I could swear that it’s December 6 and that somehow, don’t ask me how it's possible, but somehow I missed the entire month of November. That’s right, no crisp fall days, no Thanksgiving, no leaves changing… none of that.
November 6th? How is that possible, when just today, I turned on the radio and out came:
It’s the hap-happiest season of all…”

Freakin’ Christmas Music!?! Are you Freakin’ Kidding me?
(I’m a Mormon and a Scout Master and so I can’t use the holy mother of dirty words… but oh, do I want to!)
Did I fall down a Freakin’ worm hole and land in Freakin’ Christmas Hell!?!

Now, I’ve accepted the fact that retailers keep Christmas items in their seasonal aisles… pretty much year around. Just incase you need an imported Bavarian crystal snowman for your yard in… say… June.
I could happen… Right?

So what’s the story? Why is it I have to hear Christmas songs in November? I realize that there aren’t a whole lot of Thanksgiving songs out there, but… I’d take Kenny G over the cheese of Christmas songs a month early.

Maybe we need a law?
“The Macy’s Law.” Which will state… in essence… “There shall be no Christmas music or displays in the airways or in retail stores until Santa Claus is seen in the Macy’s parade, occurring on the morning of the Friday following Thanksgiving. Violators shall be boiled in their own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through their heart.”

Ugh… that wouldn’t work. They’d just move Thanksgiving to August.
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