Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Merry Freakin' Thanksgiving


Can I just ask? That’s today’s date?

November 6? Are you sure? I could swear that it’s December 6 and that somehow, don’t ask me how it's possible, but somehow I missed the entire month of November. That’s right, no crisp fall days, no Thanksgiving, no leaves changing… none of that.
November 6th? How is that possible, when just today, I turned on the radio and out came:
It’s the hap-happiest season of all…”

Freakin’ Christmas Music!?! Are you Freakin’ Kidding me?
(I’m a Mormon and a Scout Master and so I can’t use the holy mother of dirty words… but oh, do I want to!)
Did I fall down a Freakin’ worm hole and land in Freakin’ Christmas Hell!?!

Now, I’ve accepted the fact that retailers keep Christmas items in their seasonal aisles… pretty much year around. Just incase you need an imported Bavarian crystal snowman for your yard in… say… June.
I could happen… Right?

So what’s the story? Why is it I have to hear Christmas songs in November? I realize that there aren’t a whole lot of Thanksgiving songs out there, but… I’d take Kenny G over the cheese of Christmas songs a month early.

Maybe we need a law?
“The Macy’s Law.” Which will state… in essence… “There shall be no Christmas music or displays in the airways or in retail stores until Santa Claus is seen in the Macy’s parade, occurring on the morning of the Friday following Thanksgiving. Violators shall be boiled in their own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through their heart.”

Ugh… that wouldn’t work. They’d just move Thanksgiving to August.

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